Mary Lynn with two of her capuchin "children"

As I’ve said before, baby monkeys are among the cutest creatures on the planet. In some ways, they’re even cuter than baby humans: they’ve got fur and tails, they make adorable chirping noises, and they can hop around and play a lot sooner than their furless fellow primates can. I can totally see why some people keep them as pets, even though they’re extremely expensive and require care almost 24/7.

But adopting a monkey not as a pet but as a substitute child? That’s borderline crazy, as viewers of the TLC special My Monkey Baby can attest. The program follows three sets of “monkey parents”: a pair of empty nesters who refer to their 18-year-old capuchin, Jessy, as their “daughter”; Mary Lynn, a woman who owns three capuchins and two marmosets; and a young couple adopting a newborn macaque they name Butters. All three, not surprisingly, have suffered trauma or mental illness that has left a void in their lives. Mary Lynn, for instance, had uterine cancer which left her unable to bear children, while Butters’s owner, Jesus, had a vasectomy at age 22 because his painful childhood convinced him he never wanted to have kids of his own.

Jessy serves as a "bridesmaid" in her "mom's" wedding

Perhaps the saddest is Jessy’s “mom.” She is estranged from all six of her grown human children, who rebelled against her, she says, starting when they were teenagers and “wanted to lead their own lives.” The woman purchased Jessy because the monkey is like “a baby that never grows up.” A spoiled baby, at that: Jessy has a wardrobe full of frilly dresses and dozens of toys, and eats pastry, ice cream, and lollipops. It’s not hard to connect the dots: it seems like this woman built her identity around taking care of small, dependent children, and was never able to break out of that role. Jessy now fills the void her children left when they grew into independent people with their own free will.

Jessy's toothlessness is obvious in this photo.

And there’s a second dark side to this story, one My Monkey Baby irresponsibly fails to address. Despite the “do not try this at home”-type disclaimers TLC runs after every commercial break, the program never does adequate justice to the stresses and hardships of monkey ownership. Monkeys are wild animals who, when they reach maturity, can and will bite out of anger or in self-defense.  (One reason Jessy’s “parents” have been able to co-exist with her for so long is that they’ve had all her teeth removed, a practice even more painful and damaging to a monkey than declawing is to a cat.) They’re intelligent, have opposable thumbs, move much faster than humans, and can easily tear furnishings to shreds. Many owners, sadly, grow tired of their pets once they grow past babyhood, and seek to offload or sell them. But sanctuaries for former monkey pets, like Jungle Friends, are few and far between.

There are responsible monkey owners out there, who provide for their pets’ needs and don’t feed them candy or feel compelled to stick dresses on them, but it’s hard to tell if Mary Lynn is one of these, or if Jesus will still want Butters when she looks less like this:

and more like this:

or even this:

By focusing on the “weird factor” and not presenting all sides of the story, I fear, My Monkey Baby may only contribute to the problem of monkeys being used as substitute children.