His daughter translated the lyrics for him:

What is the best thing to arise from 5,000 years of Chinese culture?
That which is played by the most people throughout the ages is the best!
Everyone knows how to play the East, West, South, North, Bamboo, Circle and Character tiles,
I can play three days and nights without leaving the table, so Im the most awesome!

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Plum, Orchid, Bamboo, Chrysanthemum,
If I get one, I score one!
5 matching sets, chancing upon a winning tile, winning without discarded tiles,
This will leave you all looking like morons.
I strive to reach the highest score with a dragon set, or one of each kind,
But unless I complete the set, all my efforts are in vain (epic fail)!

Hoarding tiles, hurling insults,
This shows your character is the suckiest.
When you discover the tiles you relied on to win were being hoarded,
You curse the heavens for your misfortune.
When luck is not on your side or you commit a fatal blunder,
Others will laugh at you in their hearts, but wont show glee on their faces.
Hoarding tiles, counting tiles, if I dont win, neither will you!
Sabotaging you is exactly my intention!

When your victory is imminent, people play it safe and the round has no winners.
When you dont need other players tiles to win, then divinity is shining on you.
With the help of the heavens, victory is certain!
Win with a middle-fortune-blank set, a directions set, a dragon set, or an all-one-kind set,
And everyone will envy you.
Long live mahjong
Long live mahjong
Long live my wife!

“Bohemian Rhapsody” is featured on the channel MuppetStudios, which I discourage any Generation Xers from visiting unless they want to waste the next couple of hours watching Beaker’s soulful rendition of “Habanera” or learning about the latest developments in pumpkin-carving technology. YouTube is an ideal format for the Muppets, who are at their best in short skits. Each 2- to 3-minute video’s a shot of goofy, nostalgic fun, liberally dosed with the manic bizarreness and blithe defiance of logic (What do you get when you blow up two pumpkins with a bazooka? Pumpkin pies, complete with eyes and mouths.) that have made the Muppets famous. The musical numbers, like “Habanera” and Beaker’s “Ode to Joy,” are enjoyable in such a random, meme-like way–they’re unselfconscious and don’t overstay their welcome–that they seem poised to go viral. In fact, “Bohemian Rhapsody” already has, having been featured on BoingBoing and viewed over 10 million times.

Of course, one of my favorite all-time Muppet moments is still the “Happiness Hotel” number from The Great Muppet Caper. It and the England sequence from National Lampoon’s European Vacation remain two of the most indelible images of British hotels in American popular culture. My husband and I are visiting London next fall, and I’ll be crossing my fingers until we get there, hoping that our hotel doesn’t remotely resemble the good old Happiness (though, I suppose, if it does, we can always sneak out in the middle of the night).

So I’m wondering if I’m the only one who doesn’t find the video kind of irritating.

The “aisle dance” strikes me as the logical extension of a very annoying trend: the first dance “surprise.” Search “funny first dance” on YouTube and you’ll get dozens of videos, all featuring couples slow dancing to Sinatra or Louis Armstrong when, suddenly, Sir Mix-A-Lot or the Village People comes on and the couple “spontaneously” rocks out.

Now, I know that, for everyone except the principals themselves, the first dance can be a snooze. There’s only so long you can watch two people somewhat eptly half-waltz around a square of parquet to the tune of “At Last” or “From This Moment On” until you start wondering when they’re going to start the salad course already, or gauging how soon you can hit up the bar again without people thinking you’re a lush.

But, the thing is, the first dance isn’t about entertaining your guests. (You do that by providing them with food, music, a place to dance, copious amounts of alcohol, and sartorial choices to nitpick.) It’s a chance for you and your new spouse to enjoy the fact that, after months of waiting, you’re finally married, and for the more sentimental of your relatives to get teary-eyed and snap pictures. Disrupting that moment to break into the “evolution of dance” montage just strikes me as a bit too hip and ironic. It’s a move for couples who say that weddings are stodgy and traditional, but who secretly want the pageantry and the big shindig.

And so the Minnesota couple seem even more too-cool-for-school. Yes, they were having fun, but I’m wondering what their parents and grandparents thought, or if their dance extravaganza affected the mood of the ceremony itself. Or if, ten years down the road, the couple might wish they’d opted for less pizzazz and more decorum. Or if, heaven forbid, this trend catches on and people start hiring themselves out as Wedding Aisle Dance Instructors or Wedding Viral Video Coordinators. (“‘Thriller’? That’s been done. ‘Y.M.C.A.’? That too. How about “I’m Too Sexy”? Ooh, and the groomsmen can strip off their shirts – they’re too sexy for their shirts, get it? That ought to get us at least half a million hits. Your groomsmen do have nice abs, right?”) [P.S.: This author is already cashing in on the "creative receptions" trend -- because it's not acceptable any more to have a reception that's "just okay."]

I mean, sure, everyone does the boring traditional walk-down-the-aisle thing. But traditions exist for a reason: because people like continuity and a sense of ritual around important moments in their lives. Things like exchanging rings and reciting vows aren’t mere cliches: they link you to history and to everyone who’s gotten married before you. Yes, these moments are repeated at almost every wedding you’ll ever go to. That’s what gives them meaning. And if they’re moving and enjoyable for the guests, it’s usually because the guests care about the people involved — not because they find it dramatic or surprising to watch two people stick gold bands on each other’s fingers.

I can see one bright side to this video, though: twenty-five years from now, when the music of the ‘00s sounds as dated as ABBA, this couple will have a great artifact to embarrass their kids with!